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A Mustard Moment

I didn't mean to buy this dress. Honestly, 9 times out of 10, I never mean to purchase half of the things that end up in my closet. Have you ever walked into a shop just to window shop? Just to have a brief look? Yes, I am aware you don't need to actually "enter" a shop to window shop; but did you know that only applies if you have self control? I'm working on it however... I haven't fully mastered this "self control" thing yet. If I happen to be in a funk or just plain sad, it's worse, the day I bought this dress I was sadder than sad. Now I know you all want me to talk about this $12.50 Forever 21 dress, I know you want all the details about the fit and fabric. You want to know if it rides up when you walk, it's a $12 dress, of course it rides up like a Harley when you walk! But I will say, it's a pretty perfect dress. It's a guaranteed head-turner! It can also be demure if styled with a chunky knit sweater or worn with a t-shirt underneath.

Let's talk about what lead me to walk into that Forever 21 in downtown Brooklyn in the first place. I was sad shopping, an activity I do often; some drink, some eat, some smoke, I shop. On this particular day I luckily can't remember what was causing my mood; I could of missed my train by seconds, making me late for work. Someone I was seeking attention from took too long to text me back, the list of things that get me sad is almost endless. When I was younger I would never let myself get sad, I would just get mad and let it fester. Can you say UNHEALTHY!

Over the years, I taught myself to morph my anger into sadness; now, I know how odd it may sound but hear me out. I find that I can overcome feeling of sadness much quicker than I can the feeling of anger. When I am angry I feel trapped in a trance, it leaves me incapable of doing the most basic things. Mad eating? Mad shopping? Yeah, I just can't do it. I'm paralyzed. The anger just take shelter inside me and create a nest. It could takes a few minutes, hours and once or twice... a few days to remove that nest. With sadness, yes, I cry, I scream, I eat, I sleep and my favorite, shop. With sadness, it gives me mobility. I can be productive. My sadness doesn't fester, it's malleable.

I feel so blessed that I have learned to channel my anger into sadness as strange as it sounds. Everyday I try and work on myself and some days, I could qualify for sainthood and other days I am the spawn of Lucifer himself. I have come to realize, all that matters is I'm aware and I'm evolving. Enough of all this emotional crap, lets get into the mustard moment.

Outfit Details: Dress

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